So the other night we were sitting at the dinner table, and my son William, age 6, was looking seriously at a newspaper that my wife and I had left laying out so that we could read a line or two in between our daughter Thea (age 19 months) hollering for milk and Will begging to be played with and ourselves trying to keep the house in some semblance of order--you know, normal parenting stuff. Anyway, there was a big picture of Bush there for some reason or other, and Will was asking about him. We explained that he was the president, and said little more, as I don't like to curse in front of the kids.

Continuing with the theme of Incredible Monsters of the Deep, here's a story I found today about jellyfish the size of sumo wrestlers.

Bigger actually--they weigh as much as sumos, which is no small feat, being made of protoplasm and having no bones. Check out the photo and see if you're scared.

This one goes on a bit, but bear with me. It's important.

I meant to do this last year, and by the time I got around to it the year was half over, so I ended up not doing it. The point is, I'd like to have a running record of the books I've read over the course of the year, so that around the holiday season of 2006 I can look back and see how I've been using my brain, if at all. So I'll be posting here with a running total and mini-reviews of the tomes that occupy my free time as I wend my way through the coming year.

I dunno, but he makes some compelling arguments.

Money quote in the article:

"As I said in my newspaper column this week, three wise men showed up to honor the baby Jesus way back when. And if corporate executives are not wise enough to emulate that, well, those of us who respect Christmas might look elsewhere." -- Bill O'Reilly, naturally

Yep, that's right--we DEMAND the commercialization of Christmas! Not using Christ's Birthday as an advertising slogan is just...just...Secular Humanism!

Er..., wait a minute...I mean, SECULAR HUMANISM! Oh, the horror!

Like most people, I've always thought it would be fun to write children's stories. Also, like most people who've tried, I've found that they're harder than you think. However, my son William (age 6) often asks me to extemporize bedtime stories for him, because he likes the silly things I come up with off the cuff--usually things about a boy named Will who defeats the Big Bad Wolf by suddenly becoming Superman.

However, recently I came up with this little piece. Will enjoyed it a lot and so did I, so I wrote it down and embellished it and I present it here for your perusal. If you know anybody who'd like to illustrate it a la William Steig, or if you want to publish it, let me know.

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Phbhbhbhbffft.

But then again, why tempt fate?

In which the pointed reluctance of my coworkers to meet my gaze is interpreted as a primal collective-unconscious fear of my long-dormant ability to turn them all TO STONE.

Okay, I've got some ideas for posts, but haven't sat down to do them yet. In the meantime, why don't you enjoy a sampling of the worst lines of Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror writing ever assembled?

Example:

`A few hours had passed since they had been pulled away from the moon. A few hours and millions of miles. The moon was no longer visible, not even as a star. The whole thing was so crazy, weird and far-out. It was as though they were floating in a giant vacuum.' -- Sara Cavanaugh, A Woman in Space

With thanks to Thog the Mighty.

My buddy Jon at JonWorld comes through again with the monstrous and the bizarre. Today's headline:

Python Bursts After Trying to Eat Live Gator.

With picture!

Seriously.