Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy.

Monster Brains

Cool art blog discovered by the ever-vigilant simians at MonkeyFilter.

MONSTER BRAINS.

Great horror and fantastical artwork. I'll definitely be browsing there a lot.

Media Forums: Slight Organizational Changes

If anyone's still reading, but only scanning the front page for new posts, you may be missing the "recent comments" list at the left here, which is where most of my updating is going on these days--specifically in the "Books I Have Read" and "Movies I have Watched" forums. In the interest of making these easier to navigate, I've put in quick reference lists (alphabetized by title) at the top of each forum. So if you want to see what I think about what I've been watching or reading, there's the place to go.

As for the regular blog posts--well, my life is pretty boring. I'll post when I have something to say. In the meantime, enjoy my rave review of Chopping Mall or my blistering pan of The Electric Michelangelo by clicking on the recent comments links or on the Media Forums links at the right.

Lyric of the Week: The Mariner's Revenge Song by The Decemberists

A friend of mine recently turned me on to the salt-flavored pop of The Decemberists, who mix tales of the seafaring life with indie rock, using traditional melodies, offbeat instruments (if you consider accordion and and even a balalaika, I think, to be offbeat in pop music), and an almost punk attitude to craft songs that stay with you long after you shut off the CD. One of these that has stayed with me all week is "The Mariner's Revenge Song," probably the saltiest cut from the excellent Picaresque--the tale of two sailors trapped in the belly of a whale who discover they have more in common than one of them would care to think. Seek it out an give it a listen, and it'll imbed itself in your brain. Full lyrics on the jump.

GIANT SQUID LIVE ON FILM!

And then dead on the boat. :(

But still, amazing video available to you by clicking here or, at a lesser quality, here.

As I've written before, giant squids fascinate me, and to see one of these creatures in the (albeit moribund) flesh is just gobsmacking.

Damn, that's a big baby.

Why, Santa? WHY?!?!?!?!

In the spirit of the holidays, a fun article on THE MOST DANGEROUS TOYS OF ALL TIME!!!

How many did you have?

Your Google-Fu is Unstoppable

Okay, probably every geek around knows this already, but for borderline-ubergeeks like me, or non-geeks like my wife and parents, this is pretty freakin' cool. 15 Things You Didn't Know You Could Do With Google.

You ever spend time on the Google looking for a Farenheit-to-Celsius calculator so you can figure out whether your British friend just texted you that it's freezing, or that it's rather balmy out? Me too. Little did I know you could just google "30C in F" and have Google spit out the answer.

Go ahead. Try it. It works the other way too.

Besides converting units of measure quickly and easily--which is what I'm going to be doing A LOT from now on (ever wonder how many teaspoons in a cup? I have), you can also use Google as a dictionary, a glossary, a package tracker, a phone directory, and a repository of All the Facts. (Examples: population of Little Rock, Alexander Pope's birthday, the date of Amerigo Vespucci's death, and pretty much anything you can think of.) Plus there's more!

So there you go. Don't say I never gave you anything. This should fill the tedious hours for you, and might even prove useful in some situations--esp. when cooking, I'm thinking, as certain measuring spoons are often unreachable and I have to substitute others. Anyhoo, have fun.

Hmm, I wonder what the planetary mass of Uranus is? Oh.

"The Skeleton Club" Reviewed in Tangent Online

Maybe I'm just thirsty to put a positive spin on anything remotely non-rejectional that happens with my writing, but I was happy to see the following review of my story "The Skeleton Club" on Tangent Online, a sci-fi/horror/fantasy short fiction review site that's been around for years. Maybe it's just pleasantly positive, but I'm calling it a rave. Take it up with the site admin if you don't like my terminology. ;)

The entirety of issue #8 of City Slab is reviewed here, but since this is my own personal website, I'm pasting only the part about my story below:


In Scott Standridge’s “The Skeleton Club,” Gerald has a problem: the flesh of his lower face is falling away. It’s a transformation worthy of horror director David Cronenberg, whose movies also look at the connections between our bodies, our minds, our sexuality, and madness. “The Skeleton Club” tackles these same connections, and also delves into the problem of self-identity. Can Gerald renounce his membership in the human race and throw in his lot with the Skeleton Club—others, like himself, who have lost flesh?

The first half of the story, detailing Gerald’s physical transformation, seems a necessary prelude to the second half, which looks at his initiation into the Club. He has to lose his humanity before he can accept something new (and, arguably, better). The point is to make Gerald’s final transformation seem both inevitable and desirable. “The Skeleton Club” certainly succeeds in that respect.

Nice to hear nice things about one's work. Nicer still to be mentioned in the same breath as Cronenberg, and even nicer to gloat about it. Send your congratulatory flowers to this website. ;)

It's Election Day

God Lay Dead In Heaven

Wow. I just read the most amazing article about folklore of homeless kids on the streets of Miami. Haunting, beautiful, tragic tales. Here are a couple of excerpts:


On Christmas night a year ago, God fled Heaven to escape an audacious demon attack -- a celestial Tet Offensive. The demons smashed to dust his palace of beautiful blue-moon marble. TV news kept it secret, but homeless children in shelters across the country report being awakened from troubled sleep and alerted by dead relatives. No one knows why God has never reappeared, leaving his stunned angels to defend his earthly estate against assaults from Hell. "Demons found doors to our world," adds eight-year-old Miguel, who sits before Andre with the other children at the Salvation Army shelter. The demons' gateways from Hell include abandoned refrigerators, mirrors, Ghost Town (the nickname shelter children have for a cemetery somewhere in Dade County), and Jeep Cherokees with "black windows." The demons are nourished by dark human emotions: jealousy, hate, fear.

One demon is feared even by Satan. In Miami shelters, children know her by two names: Bloody Mary and La Llorona (the Crying Woman). She weeps blood or black tears from ghoulish empty sockets and feeds on children's terror. When a child is killed accidentally in gang crossfire or is murdered, she croons with joy. "If you wake at night and see her," a ten-year-old says softly, "her clothes be blowing back, even in a room where there is no wind. And you know she's marked you for killing."

Full text here. More on the jump.

Publication Update

Just a note for those who might be interested--looks like The Undead Anthology vol. 2: Skin and Bones, which will feature my story "Till the Lord Comes" and was originally scheduled to be published this month, has been delayed and is now shooting for an early- to mid-07 publication date. More as I learn it.

However, the latest issue of City Slab hits the street this week, with 3 (count 'em!) interviews by me in it, and lots of gorgeous layout and color pages. This is the first issue that will be distributed by Ingraham distributing, too, which means you might just be able to find a copy in your local Barnes & Noble. So go look for it, and tell everyone you know one of the editors.